**A transcript and audio version would be published**
**Mimi would have a soft toned voice with a audible Japanese Accent.
Lina and Elle's voices may be hard to decipher without the transcript due to the similar valley girl tone and preppiness.**
**The sound quality would be significantly better than previous audios done**
Mimi: Hi guys! We're back with our next Advice Column! You may notice better sound quality, that's because we're finally in a real studio, we recently renovated our HQ and have our set-up ready to go! We're missing Bee today, but everyone else is here!
Lina: Helloooo!
Elle: Hi bitches!
**Mimi would left off a laugh**
Mimi: Are we ready to dive in? I think this week is a bit tamer. Remember that one week we got one about cuckolding and gay pornstars?
Lina: Remember?! How could I forget..
**Lina laughs**
Elle: Literally... Honestly, one of my favorite weeks.
Mimi: So..the first one is actually really cute! It's like an update from a previous one! I think this was actually one from that week...I'm not sure they all kind of mesh, but here it is!
Lina: Ooo! An update!? Hit me with it, bitch!
**Mimi clears her throat as she begins to read, letting off a chuckle before.**
Mimi: ''This isn’t really a question but more of an update. I wrote in a few weeks ago about having some weird sexually confusing thoughts about other girls and I took your advice. While sadly my boyfriend didn’t take the news too well and even dumped me after telling him my feelings, It felt liberating to get it off my chest. Along with now being free to explore this new part of me I kinda met someone and she really makes me happy. Thank you for your advice! I have never been happier!''
Lina: AWWWW!!
* Lina sounds completely overjoyed at the news.
Elle: Ugh, that was really nice! Honestly, if she wasn't happy, anyway then screw him.
Lina: For real. Eh.. I can understand him not being happy but he should still be understanding.
Elle: If he realizes they can be friends later down the road, then he'll come around.
Lina: Exactly. If not? Fuck 'im.
Mimi: What matters now is..YOU'RE FREE. You can explore those thoughts and feelings guilt free.
Mimi: That was nice though! You guys should send in more updates...hint hint.
Lina: No, seriously, I wanna hear an update about that long distance relationship from the hospital!? Like.. that was totally a love story in the making.
Mimi: Oh yes! If you're listening! PLEASE update us!
Lina: I'm begging.
Mimi: I will pay you. Anyways!
Lina: WELL—
**Some laughs are produced in the background**
Mimi: Okay. Question ONE.
QUESTION ONE
Mimi: 'How can I deal with bullies that make my life miserable just because I try to be myself? The way I dress, my hobbies, my music taste, my hair. It's so annoying''.
**Mimi sighs a bit as she finishes reading the question**
Elle: Okay- Wait.
Mimi: Hm?
Lina: Honestly? Violence is never the answer, HOWEVER—
Elle: Is there any context on like... How old they are or where the bullies are?
Lina: Is this like high school bullies—
Lina: HIGH SCHOOL FUCKING BULLIES.
Elle: Okay, period. Go off, Lina. Continue.
Lina: Anyways. Violence is never the answer, however.. I mean, I'm not endorsing beating the fuck out of them? But sometimes? That's kind of what needs to happen to get them off your dick, for lack of a better term.
**Someone in the background takes a deep breath.**
Lina: Of course, trying to start a fight against a group of people isn't smart either.
Mimi: Okay, maybe if this were ONE person, this is a WHOLE GROUP. No way, she's gonna beat up.
Lina: The /best/ course of action is ignoring them the best you can, try and steer yourself away from them if possible. Because trying to fight back is probably just going to make it worse than it already is.
Mimi: I feel like we really needed context here. Like, are they our age and at work? College? High school?
Lina: I hate to be that girl, but like.. to be that girl, you just gotta do you, girl.
Elle: Right... I don't know, like you just kind of have to embrace yourself for what /you/ are. They clearly have some insecurities to be picking on you.
Lina: I mean, context would be nice, yeah, but still.
Mimi: Okay, let me say this. If you're in high school, people are mean as fuck. That's sadly an unfortunate part of being in school sometimes, but that doesn't make it right. You have to gauge the situation yourself to see if it's worth reporting to the school could make it worst or better, depending on a lot of factors. If you're a older person, and this is happening in a social circle, fuck them. Distance yourself from them, you don't need that. I don't know if this is straight bullying or disguised as something else. You know those /friends/.
** A sigh is heard **
Lina: Mimi being the reasonable one here.
**Mimi laughs**
Lina: But like, I agree.
Lina: More context would have been nice so we can really like.. help.
Elle: I still stand by that they're clearly haters and jealous. They have some deep down insecurities they need to figure out.
Mimi: No doubt.
Elle: Don't change who you are or what you like, just because of some bitches. Honestly..
Elle: Bullies are anywhere in life, it's like /so/ sad. Like, literally my fiance's uncle hates me and I've never even met him?! Clearly, just a hater.
Mimi: Hater.
Elle: I flipped my hair, so you all know.
Lina: Literal hater.
**Lina laughs loudly shortly after**
Mimi: Anyways babes, take care of your mental health, being bullied is not a good situation obviously. Take care of yourself, if you need to, reach out to a authority figure if you're a younger person or if this is a work scenario.
Mimi: If you wanna send us more details, please do that too.
Lina: Please!!
Mimi: Or, if you wanna be our friend, DM US! We don't do bullying here.
Elle: Period, so true.
Lina: Yeah...
Mimi: Are we ready to move on? Any closing statements for our friend on the other side?
Lina: I think we're ready to move on.
Elle: I'm good to go on.
QUESTION TWO
Mimi: ''How do i help a friend thats eating too much without hurting her she's been gaining and I tried to be supportive and told her body positivity if she's comfortable with how she looks then do whatever she wants, but she's gaining a lot and we all know being heavily obese isn't good for your health.''
Mimi: OH WOW, OKAY.
Lina: I-
**Someone is heard clearing their throat, followed by an uncomfortable silence of about a solid minute in the studio**
Mimi: Okay, I'll start.
Lina: Not to be THAT girl but— Bitch this is NONE of your business.
Mimi: I mean — Lina. If this girl is tethering on the line of death due to her weight? Maybe it is. I would want to help either of you if you were having an issue similar.
Elle: Some people like Lizzo like being obese.
Lina: Okay, in THAT case, then sure, but she literally said she's just started gaining weight.
Elle: Doesn't she enjoy being obese?
Mimi: I don't think she ENJOYS it? I just think she's okay with how she looks.
Elle: Right, well maybe this girl is too?
Lina: Exactly! Like, I just think it's kind of.. inappropriate?
Mimi: Listen, I know we care about our friends, but unless they're like dying..you gotta let em be?
Mimi: Maybe one day she'll have a wake up call.
Lina: Even if it gets to be a bigger issue, the reality is is that she won't listen to you, ANYWAY. It's gonna be a road she has to go down alone if that's what ends up happening. But for now? Just.. let it be, let her live her life, especially if it's not affecting you in any way negatively— or her's for that matter.
Elle: Right, or like... Maybe, politely encourage her to do some fitness routines with you? Go swimming, hiking.. Jogging? It could still help with whatever is going on.
Mimi: Yeah, but don't make it obvious.
Elle: Staying more active, but in a polite way.
Mimi: Be like ''I'm going on a jog, I need some company''. Maybe.
Lina: Ask her to hang out and do more fitness related activities with you but don't make it about her. Make it seem like you just wanna hang out, not about losing weight.
Mimi: Yeah...kinda like that.
Lina: God, please.
Mimi: Also, I feel like once again, guys we love you but CONTEXT. Everyone has different opinions on what's /fat/ this girl could just be a bit chubby.
Elle: Yeah, I agree. And, there is literally nothing wrong with being a little curvy!
Lina: She got some junk in her trunk!
**Some laughter could be heard from Elle before she continues her sentence*
Elle: Honestly, if she looks good, she loves life, and is vibing than don't be the friend to crash burn her.
Mimi: Agreed. Offer some exercise along with yourself, leave it at that if she declines. Honestly.
Mimi: Any closing statements?
Lina: Elle, what the fuck.
Elle: What?
Lina: I—
Mimi: Huh?
Ellen: WHAT?! What did I do?!
Mimi: Lina is staring at Elle...For some reason?
Mimi: Okay, does anyone know where we can get a puppy!?
Mimi: ELLE just HAD to FB about it while we're recording.
Elle: OH MY GOD. I want a puppy so bad.
**A fit of laughter is heard**
Mimi: SO, if you know. PLEASE, TELL US. VERY URGENT APPARENTLY.
Elle: Mhm! It's going to be my wedding gift to my future hubby!
Mimi: You just told a lot of people.
Elle: If you're listening, Mando, you fucking didn't hear that. Turn the podcast off.
Mimi: Just...MOVING ON. MOVING ON!!
Lina: ANYWAYS.
Mimi: NEXT QUESTION.
QUESTION THREE
Mimi: ''I’m a very shy guy and I want to ask out the girl of my dreams. Tips for guys to impress ladies?''
**Lina is still laughing in the background, all the listener would hear is some disembodied laughter before she finally collects herself.**
Mimi: I'm gonna sound like an ass, but like just ask her.
Lina: No literally. The worst she'll do is say no.
Mimi: If she doesn't like you how you already are then..BYE.
Elle: Okay, but like... I have some tips!
Mimi: Okay, fine, give us the tips.
Lina: Just be yourself? And say it confidently, don't do that boo-hoo sappy, I dunno if you like me or not bullshit. Like.. that's not cute.
Elle: Obviously, she should like you for who you are... But, there is nothing wrong with doing a super sweet gesture? Maybe, get her something you know she likes. It could be as simple as a slushie or flowers... A gift card.
Elle: Sweeten up the vibes before going in for the kill.
Lina: That, too!
Lina: Like.. I'm talking to this dude right now and he just bought me a bottle of my favorite wine just because. That's like.. that's how you get a girl.
Mimi (low toned): Just because he wants to fuck you.
**Mimi would cough**
Lina: (hush, whispering tone): MIMI.
Mimi: Anyways, YES.
**Lina would gasp into the mic**
Mimi: A sweet gesture is good, but please don't change yourself. If you have to change yourself, then she is NOT your dream girl. Anything else to add?
Lina: No, I think that pretty much covers it.
Mimi: Elle?
Elle: Nope, I think we got it all!
Mimi: Okay..this next one..confuses me.
QUESTION FOUR
Mimi: ''How to impress a DJ guy?''
Lina: What.
Elle: Mix him some tracks.
** All three girls burst into laughter **
Mimi: I can't.
Lina: I don't have an answer to this, I'm sorry.
Mimi: I don't know!? Talk about— music!?
Lina: I have no idea.
Mimi: I really don't know. Him being a DJ probably isn't his WHOLE personality!? Just talk to him??
Elle: Right, that's a career?
Lina: Literally, it's not like he's some unreachable entity, you people treat DJs like Gods and it's weird. Like, the guy's a person, too.
Mimi: She had to say it. It's true.
Lina: Just talk to him!
Mimi: TALK.TO.HIM. End of that!
Elle: Personally, though. I would never date a DJ.
Mimi: Why?
Lina: God, neither would I.
Elle: They're like so prone to cheating. Look it up.
Mimi: I can see why. A lot of girls around them.
Lina: Literally, everyone wants to say they fucked this DJ or that DJ and it's like.. they're not even celebrities, guys.
**A small cut in audio may be noticed if listening carefully**
Mimi: Hold on, pause. Can I do a little search of what careers cheat more?
Mimi: For women...the medical field.
Mimi: Trade work like....electricians..plumbers...
Lina: Huh. Weird.
Mimi: Most unfaithful teachers are...WOMEN. Well, they're mostly women.
Mimi: I.T work. That shocked me, I feel like they're nerds.
Lina: Listen, don't hate on the nerds, they're always dating other nerds and are in happy relationships.
Mimi: Entrepreneurs. Is that US?
Lina: It's always the hot people who got fucked up shit going on.
Elle: Entrepreneurs is like such a wide ranged term. How does that even count?
Lina: No literally.
Mimi: Well, I'm going by this list?! Finance.
Elle: I'm questioning the list.
Lina: Entrepreneurs are like.. MLMs?
Mimi: Hospitality and retail. Yeah. Valid.
Mimi: Entertainment industry. DJ'S. FUCKING DJ'S.
Lina: Daaaaaaaamn.
Mimi: Anyways....any closing statements?
Elle: Knew it.
Lina: Just.. talk to him..
Elle: No closing statement they're cheaters. Pick someone better!
**Lina laughs at Elle's statement**
Mimi: This last is crazy long.
QUESTION FIVE
Mimi: ''I'm a man in his late 20s and I'm in way over my head. I've truly found the woman of my dreams, we're both madly in love and expecting but there's one big problem, I haven't popped the question yet. Honestly, I know she's been waiting for it, she's gave, many hints, some not so subtle, and we'd already discussed that we'd prefer to be married, or at least engaged before having our first child but, things don't always work out that way (it's not too late to at least be engaged though!). I'm reaching out because honestly, I'm pretty clueless, I feel in over my head! As far as /how/ to pop the question, I'm not too concerned at all I know her well enough to know that it doesn't need to be extravagant, the problem I'm having is.. well.. with the entire process. I've never been married before and, everything about rings, wedding bands, you name it is all confusing me and I just feel so overwhelmed . I don't even know if I'm like, supposed to get her an engagement ring, and then a wedding ring too? Also something feels wrong to me about only a woman wearing an engagement ring but not the man too, it feels, old timey, leftover, sexist in some ways? I'd appreciate any advice, or ideas sincerely a very clueless man.''
Elle: OH! Can i go first?!
Mimi: Yes.
Elle: Okay, so firstly... Shameless plug, I totally wrote a blog that's coming out THIS week on best spots to propose in Los Santos. YOU should check that out... Also..
Lina: Period.
Elle: Like, if you guys are having a whole child? Than, she's obviously going to say yes, no matter what. You shouldn't be so nervous and should incorporate it to her liking. You know her better than anyone. Do something that she likes to do, maybe make like a cute little onesie for the unborn baby.
Mimi: Oooh!
Elle: Just make it wholesome, honestly.
Mimi: That's such a cute idea.
Lina: Aww.
Mimi: Honestly, this isn't up my ally. I've never been married either, but — like Elle says YOU know her, do something cute. Elle, where was the place you got your ring from?
Elle: I promise you as someone who is engaged, that once you get on one knee and propose, all the background noises fade... It doesn't matter as long as she truly loves you.
Elle: OH! The Igloo it's in the Rockford Mall. I LOVE them. Check them out, so affordable and they worked with me so quickly for a custom ring.
Mimi: You heard it from Elle. Get your ring from the Igloo.
Mimi (low toned): Sponsor us..
**Mimi coughs**
Elle (low toned): Please.
Lina (low toned): Hashtag nonspon..
Mimi: Oh how about the man wearing a ring part? Like for the engagement? I mean — if you wanna? Who's stopping you?
Lina: There's no one telling you no?
Mimi: That.
Elle: Right? Mando is already wearing his for us, and we aren't even married yet. I honestly, love it. Shows you're super committed.
Lina: Honestly? I think once you propose to her, everything else'll fall into place and feel really natural.
Mimi: That's cute, because I kinda see what the writer is saying, it feels a bit weird how the woman wears hers from the start, right? And the man doesn't usually?
Lina: Anything else to add? Or are we finished?
Elle: I don't think so!
Mimi: I think we're done. Let's close this out!
Lina: Wooo!!!
Mimi: Thanks for listening, this one was a bit of a different format, because we have the good equipment now!
Lina: It's been fun!!
Elle: Yesss. It was like so much fun as always, and we're happy to help! Oh! Next time you guys hear from me, I'll be like fucking married. I'm moving up in the world.
Mimi: MARRIED!!!
**Clapping is heard**
Mimi: A WIFE.
Elle: THEN A WHOLE MOMMY.
Elle (low toned): I want babies.
Mimi: Andd! Everyone say bye!
Elle: Buh-byeeee!
Lina: BYE SLUTS!
Elle: Oh. Aggressive.
**The girls would all say bye together**
Need advice? You can submit HERE.
See you next time!
- 50 Shades of Pink